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    January 29

    Its Joke time!!!

      
        A drunken man, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of booze was sticking out of his coat pocket.   He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked. 'Say, Father, what causes arthritis?'
    The priest replied, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women; too much alcohol; contempt for your fellow man; sleeping around with prostitutes; and lack of bathing.'

    The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be darned,' then returned to his paper.
    The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.   'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong How long have you had arthritis?'
     
    The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'  


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    January 26

    Friendly Cuba!!!!

    100_1249       
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    January 12

    Im going away!!!!!

    Pondering Woodpeckers


                  An Alberta woodpecker and a Saskatchewan woodpecker were
     arguing about which place had the toughest trees.

                  The Alberta woodpecker said Alberta had a tree that no
     woodpecker could peck.

                  The Saskatchewan woodpecker accepted his challenge and
     promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
                           The Alberta woodpecker was amazed.

                          The Saskatchewan woodpecker then challenged the
     Alberta woodpecker to peck a tree in Saskatchewan that was absolutely
     im-peckable (a term
                          woodpeckers like to use).  The Alberta woodpecker
     expressed confidence, said he could do it and accepted the challenge.

                          So the two flew to Saskatchewan where the Alberta
     woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called impeckable tree with no
     problem.

                          Both woodpeckers were terribly confused How is it that
     the Saskatchewan woodpecker was able to peck the Alberta tree and the
     Alberta woodpecker was able to peck the Saskatchewan tree,  yet neither was
     able to peck the tree in their own province????

                          After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the
     same conclusion:
                          Apparently your pecker gets harder when you're away
     from home.

      
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    January 04

    Saskatchewan Cow

    The Saskatchewan Cow

    The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped giving milk. The people did some research & found they could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They bought the cow from Saskatchewan  & the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time,  & the people were pleased & very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate  with the cow & produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought a bull & put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow,  the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried,  the cow would move away from the bull  & he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset & decided to ask the local Veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told the vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side & she walks away to the other side."

    The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute & asks,  "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"

    The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan?"

    The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan."

                                    

     

     

     

     
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