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May 31 For your information.,,, FRIENDS" VS. "SASKATCHEWAN" FRIENDS
May 30 WhAts YOur PaSswORd???A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in.... P...
E...
N... I... S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied;
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH May 23 Good ONE!!!
A Scotsman walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100? "Are you nuts?!!!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again. "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"
So the Scotsman runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmm, $10,000 dollars - Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal The most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"
"Nah", says the Scotsman... "Costs too much." May 17 Dont mess with him!!!!The Little Newfie
A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when this huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says, "That's a karate chop from Korea."
Well, the little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer. The burly American then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.
The little Newfie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and whacks him on the head, knocking him out. The Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a f***ing hockey stick from Canadian Tire". May 16 Facts??? I have learnt that you cant make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I have learnt that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes.
I have learnt that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I have learnt that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes, after that, you better have a big willy or hugh boobs.
I have learnt that you should'nt compare yourself to others--- they are more screwed up then you.
I have learnt that you can keep vomiting long after you thought you were finished.
I have learnt that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I have learnt that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there better be lots of money to take its place.
I have learnt that 99% of the time when something isnt working in your house its most likely your kids that did it.
I have learnt that the people you most care about in life are taken away from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
Pass this on to your friends... trust me they'll appreciate it. Who knows something good may come of it???
If not...tough shit. May 13 Friends What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them and tell new friends you never will.
Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this blog and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will. In times of trouble, In times of need, If you are feeling SAD, You can count on me. I will give you a wink, Until you smile, give you a hug, And stand by your side, I'll be there for you till the end, I'll always and forever, be your friend! May 11 Friday
May 08 WOW Yes its been a while sents i last left a comment on my blog. Life has been keeping me busy. With work and having a couple of trips this spring the time is just whizzing by. Back now from my Kelowna golf trip and having such nice weather makes it difficult for me to find time to spent on my space. I have to spend sometime here and visit my web friends, please forgive me for not visiting for so long. I hear from carol about a few of you. lol.
Tonite was the first mens night for golf at our course...Deer Park... I was lucky tonite to shot a score of 37 on the back nine and should win some money at next weeks outing when they pay for this week scores. High-light for tonite was winning a door prize ( flashlight) lol.
Im not sure if i mentioned that i had hired a new guy about a month ago. Sad news... he quit last week when i was gone. Found the job to hard for his liking. Im taking resumes from anyone that interested. lol.
Yesterday my Mom turned 72. Carol and i went over in the evening to drop off a card and a seasons pass to our local baseball teams home games. Dad was home but mom had gone to a ladies church function with my aunt. I had been over in the afternoon and had wished her a happy birthday then. she never mentioned that she was going out in the evening. "parents" lol.
Cassidy has finished her classes for this year and is back at home as of yesterday. So this evening our house is again filled with laughter and the X-Box. She starts work at her summer job on thursday. She is planning to golf tomorrow with a friend.
Well its time to turn in... Take Care and Goodnite. May 02 Here is a couple for you today!! Im off for the rest of the week on a little golf outting. We fly to Kelowna this afternoon and play golf for the next 4 days. I left a couple of jokes to cheer you up.
Take Care...
MY THEORY IS THAT THE FEMININE GENDER ARE THE TOUGHEST AND CAN BE THE CRUELEST BEASTIES ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET.
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said: "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said: "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said: "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said: "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear: "Have you ever been f****d?" The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No" She smiled and said: "You will be when the tide comes in!" Confession An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins?" Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?" Man: "I'm Jewish." Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?" Man: "I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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