garth's profileMy ColoursPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
My ColoursLife and What it brings..:)
April 19 Stomach Wows
A Flat Stomach A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.. The son sees his mom and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?' The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..' 'You are wasting your time,' said the boy. 'Why is that?' the mom asked puzzled. 'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again!! February 22 Top 2008 JokesTop Four 2008 Adult Jokes Fourth Place : ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bill worked in a pickle factory. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked. 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh...she got fired too.' A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal =============================================== December 17 Seasons Greetings I wanted to post this to all my friends that visit here once in a while. When im home from sugery i will have more time to spend on my space.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!! December 07 Time out for a Joke??
Sitting together on a train traveling through the Canadian Rockies were a fellow from Western Canada, a fellow from Quebec, a little old lady and a young blonde girl with large breasts. October 26 Just got this joke and had to pass it on. Martha lost her husband 3 weeks ago. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home and keep them on the end table.
Martha lost her husband three weeks ago. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home and kept them on the end table.
The other day she picked up the urn and went out to the patio. She sat down at the patio table and poured him out on the table. She sat there looking at the ashes while tracing her fingers in them. After a few minutes she started talking to the ashes.
'Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!'
She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, 'Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the
insurance money!'
Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, 'Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too,
with the insurance money!'
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, 'Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?'
'Here it comes'
August 10 Long Time Ago... First ill say Hi to my friends and fellow spacer's. I have been away from my blog for to time. I have all the excuses to use... work, summmer, no time. I know some of you have been on carols space and know all is well here. I have been to see my surgen again and am now on the list for another hip. Over the last few months the pain has increased dramatically. Im now on a healthy diet of Morphine. My kids have given me a new nic name.(Happy Dad) lol.
Work is going well with 9 guys now i have the man power to keep my jobs on schedule. The summer is going by quick and we have been able to spend some time at the Cottage. I sold my boat this spring and havent found a replacement as of yet. When i have time this winter, we will shop for a new one. ( a Pontoon boat is a option). We replaced our driveway with paving stones and im working on our deck this weekend. Just replacing the deck boards with new treated ones.
All of our kids are home for the weekend and this morning our house was full of sleeping friends of theirs. Just like old times here lol.
No joke for this post but i will have some to enter soon. I hope your all doing ok, i have to visit and see whats new with you.
Take Care... May 08 Rubber GlovesNext time you use a pair of rubber gloves, You're going to smile when you think of this:
'Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well 'Im almost there'
May 07 ShoppingSubject: Fw: Beer
April 26 Jokes and Saskatchewan
April 18 Going Going Gone!!!! Well Carol and I are off to Prince Rupert to visit our daughter and drop our other daughter off. She will stay with Kristy for a couple of months and then come back with her in July. We will be gone for a week so this will be my last joke for awhile. I hope it puts a smile on your face.
 An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!
'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'
The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'
'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.
'No, from the f**kin' skippin' |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts
|
|
